LEXX Quotes
Zev: What kind of robot are you?
790: I’m a robot who wants to live in your underpants.
Mantrid: [With a voice gradually getting higher] I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe!
Xev Bellringer: And we destroyed you!
[Squashes Mantrid under her boot]
Robots: Hail Thodin! Winner of His Shadow’s award of merit!
[Thodin goes up to them and steals their guns, lifting the arm on one robot and the other robot lifts its own arm]
Thodin: Good Boys.
Robots: Hail Thodin! Winner of
[pause]
Robots: correction, award of merit rescinded! Thodin, Arch-Heretic and rebel, you are wanted for immediate termination!
[lift arms, pause]
Robots: Please return our weapons!
[Thodin shoots and vaporizes the robots]
Thodin: May his Shadow fall upon you.
Kai: You might consider abandoning Lyekka on this planet.
Stanley Tweedle: But I like her… when she’s not hungry anyway.
Stanley
- “May his merciful shadow fall upon… me preferably.”
- “I don’t know about you, Kai, but right now, I’m about as happy as a kid in a candy store!”
- “Zev if you need a man that badly! You know where to find me!”
- “Hey buddy! Your machine must be busted or something, because I ain’t fertile, I ain’t female! No
I’m Stanley Tweedle, all man!” - “Oh thats Great! I’m gonna die without my hat. I mean we are going to die be at least you guys will
be dressed…”
Zev/Xev
- “Can’t we just have sex instead?”
- “I like my men tall, handsome, and dead.”
- “You’re right, Stan, I do need you, I need your magic hand guiding this ship around this universe,
so I can find myself a real man.” - “We can take an oral exam right now, if you want.”
- “You may still only be a head, 790; but you’re the best head I ever had.
Kai
- “I kill you now in the name of his Shadow!”
- “The dead do not feel pain.”
- “The dead do not get frustrated.”
- “The dead do not poo.”
- “The dead do not squeeze and please.”
- “The dead can’t get high.”
- “The wheel, it turns, it rolls around. It makes an ancient rumbling sound.”
- “I have not been aroused for 6000 years.”
- “I have killed thousands. I have killed proud young warriors and wise old rulers. I have killed
mothers with babes in their arms. I have killed the just, the wicked, and the beautiful. I have done
this for two thousand years in the service of His Divine Shadow and apparently the fun never stops!” - “Would you care to join me in watching a Super Nova? It is a once in a lifetime experience.”
- “As a mindless servant of death for His Shadow, I was not prone to curiousity.”
- “I was kept in a mortuary with thousands like myself. There I recieved protoblood from a tube in
my storage drawer.” - “No.. you can’t eat my brain just yet. I need it a little while longer.”
- “Mind Squish until we return. And if we do not… kill it, before it gets big enough to eat you.”
- “Be certain of your need before you chose to reanimate me. In the light universe, I have been
darkness, perhapes in the Dark Zone.. I will be light.”
790
- “Stanley Tweedle a man? Thats news!”
- “If I only had an arm I’d be more than just a head! If only had an arm I would strangle Tweedle Dead!”
- “Please torture the little bastard!!”
- “Don’t look at me dead man in black, I have no motivation except to jam circuits with creamy love pudding number one.”
- “Say, do you have any well-built male bodies without heads?”
- “Tweedle, you slut!”
- “On a branch there is a fruit, Plump and ripe for sucking, In a bed there is a Xev, hot and right for…..”
The Lexx
- “As you command Stanley the brave who risked his skin for his friends.”
- “Distress, distress.. I am being penetrated…”
- “I am the Lexx. The most powerful destructive weapon in the two universes. Stanley Tweedle is my captain. I blow up planets for him.”
Prince
- “I always stick to my deals!”
- “I’m very good with pain.”
- “I can give you happiness, Xev. I can fill the emptiness within you.”