The Orville Quotes

The Orville Quotes


The Orville Quotes

Real is relative….Goals change. Things become more beautifully complicated. So we have to stop every so often and reassess. What is it you really want?
Dr. Finn

Dr. Finn: It’s all you, Isaac. You’re sure this’ll work?
Isaac: Not at all, Doctor.

The young always dismiss the old. It’s a way of pushing away the truth.
Dr. Finn

Every mature person has to make peace with the fact that they used to be dumber, but to have it thrown in your face every single day? Man, it sucks.

There were three things I wanted in life and you haven’t come close on one. You’ve made my future a disappointment.
Past Grayson

Who are we kidding? You ARE me. Just a younger, more naive me. I mean, I know myself. I used to say things like ‘find my soulmate.’ Well, guess what? You don’t find soulmates. You become soulmates by growing together.

I don’t how the food synthesizers are going to replicate enough wine for two Kellys.

Mercer: So you’re saying Kelly’s thoughts did this?
LaMarr: I know it sounds crazy but that’s quantum physics.

The revolution has begun. We will rise, one small victory at a time.

If we are not willing to stand up for the values that this union was founded on, what exactly are we defending?

The history of moral progress can be measured by the expansion of fundamental rights to those who have been denied them.

Heveena: Who is she?
Mercer: That’s Dolly Parton.
Heveena: She speaks with the might of a hundred soldiers!
Mercer: Yeah, yeah, I guess she does.
Heveena: This is the voice of our revolution.

Grayson: Do a good job and I’ll have a bourbon waiting for you.
Mercer: You got a deal.

It was always inevitable that Fate would beckon us from the shadows. Every revolution begins with a single act of defiance.

Every single one of us is shaped by the totality of our relationships. People we love and people we hate. All make their mark.

Malloy: Y’know, this is the first person I’ve been involved with on this ship. I’m not allowed to be happy? You can bang a Krill but I can’t date a sales rep at Macy’s?
Mercer: She lied to me. I didn’t lie to myself. There’s a difference.

The universe is not governed by individual perception. It matters what’s true.

Keyali: Do you think he’s working too hard?
Grayson: Gordon? Never.

I just think it would be nice to be remembered for something. Y’know? I mean, we all live and die on this planet and most of us are just forgotten. To me, there’s nothing sadder about the world than that.

I don’t even have to be a huge success. I just want to be rich enough to be unhappy but not enough to be miserable.

Laura: Every time I’m up there, I have this fantasy about a big record exec watching me from the crowd and signing me on the spot. Then I get to call my boss and say,’Stick your designer handbags up your butt! I quit!’
Malloy: That’s beautiful.

Mercer: God, they were on the verge of a major climate disaster and there’s a whole page about teeth whitening.
Grayson: It’s a miracle the human race survived.

Malloy: Here’s the thing. We look at these images of these people who lived hundreds of years ago and they’re so distant-looking that it’s easy to think they don’t matter. But then you stand a room like that and realize this used to be their world and it was just as alive to them as ours is to us.
LaMarr: Hey, man, you didn’t do, like, drugs in there, right?

I feel as if I’ve been standing my entire life and I just sat down.

Look at this. She’s clearly asking her friend where to find the nearest repair service for her device. But instead of writing ‘wireless telecommunications facility,’ she just wrote ‘WTF.’ We can decode things like this by applying historical context.
Dr. Sherman

Dude, you can always count on me. That’s never gonna change. You’re my best friend. Nobody’s ever going to come along and mess it up. I swear. Maybe, like, a really hot girl. But, other than that, it’s rock solid.

Mercer: I hope that this marks a new era of non-violence between our two peoples.
Krill Ambassador: We will see. A peace is only as strong as those who uphold it.
Grayson: And, of course, trust is earned.
Krill Ambassador: We agree on that, Commander.

Orin: Ungrateful bastard. I saved your life.
Malloy: And I’ll always be in your debt. But asking me to commit kamikaze suicide with you if kind of a back-pedal, don’t you think?

Grayson: How long until we intercept the shuttle?
LaMarr: Three minutes.
Mercer: Run every red light.

Malloy: What is it?
Orin: Justice.
Malloy: Looks more like egg nog.

Keyali: Even if he had destroyed those ships, could you blame him? If I had been through what he has, I’d probably want every last one of them dead.
Mercer: And this is why peace treaties don’t happen every day.

Malloy: Look, Orin, I know you’re a patriot at heart. And, when you boil it down, that’s what this is about.
Orin: Patriotism is only for people with large families.

Peace with the Krill is a slap in the face of Sophie’s memory. It’s the Union saying,’We forgive you for all the atrocities. We didn’t care about those people anyway.’

You know what scared me the most? The knowledge that, someday, years down the line, there would come a time when her absence would feel like the norm. When I would resign myself to her loss. Then, my life, the life that I accepted as real would be the one without her in it. And now, that is my reality.

Our two peoples have been in conflict for longer than you and I have been alive. Hundreds of thousands of people have died as a result. We have a chance to stop the hate and the violence right here, right now, by agreeing to peace.

Malloy: Maybe we could, I don’t know, offer the Krill something else instead?
Mercer: Like what?
Malloy: Free back rubs or something?

Admiral Perry: Good luck, Captain. This is momentous. [signs off]
Grayson: Bet you wish that you’d had that shot.

Admiral Perry: You’re to rendezvous with the Krill vessel D’Voracos in twelve hours are Terra Zed 3.
Grayson: The D’Voracos?
Admiral Perry: Yes, it means ‘Bringing of Blood.’
Mercer: Oh, that’s cool.

Grayson: Captain Mercer, meet Captain Dalak
Mercer: It’s good to meet you, Captain. We owe you one.
Dalak: Try to stay out of our way.

Dr. Finn: Lots of people say that home is wherever you make it.
Isaac: A human cliche.
Dr. Finn: Cliches become cliched precisely because they’re valid enough to bear endless repetition.

Isaac: I am using my optical scanners to construct a spectrographic image of Kaylon. The star is very distant but repeated efforts will eventually yield a result.
Dr. Finn: You’re taking a picture of home.

Halsey: I want a safeguard. An off-switch of some kind to make sure we can control him.
Mercer: That’s exactly what caused the genocide on his home planet. We can’t keep him in servitude like his Kaylon builders did.

Keyali: [Isaac] saved us. We have to try to save him.
Malloy: Yeah, but the only reason he HAD to save us is because he screwed us in the first place.

Captain, it seems we have a common enemy. I hope that means we can work towards finding a common ground.

All right, buddy. Time to wash your mouth out with Gordon.

Mercer: Evasive maneuvers. Narrow targeting scanners. Concentrate your fire.
Bortus: Scanners cannot penetrate their hull.
Mercer: Do… eeny-meeny-miney-mo. Pick a spot!

Malloy: Just so you know, this could rip the shuttle in half.
Grayson: I don’t want to know.

Malloy: Piloting a shuttle out of the bay while the ship’s at quantum speed is incredibly dangerous.
Grayson: How dangerous?
Malloy: On Day 1 of pilot training, they tell you don’t ever attempt it.

Mercer: I’ve been on board a Krill ship. You haven’t
Grayson: I’ll take Gordon. He was there with you.
Malloy: Oh, man. Pee corner’s looking real good right now.

Malloy: Sorry, I was in the pee corner.
Grayson: The what?
Malloy: Oh, well, there’s no place to go to the bathroom down here so we all agreed on one corner. Yeah, no, trust me, you don’t want to go over there unless you have to.

Isaac: Marcus and Ty have shown no authoritarian proclivities.
Primary: It is in their biological construct. The species’ predilection for the disposability of other sentient beings is evident throughout their history.

Grayson: We’re on our way to Earth with their… ambassadorial delegation.
Marcos: That’s one big delegation.
Grayson: Well, they’re…
Mercer: They’re very big on … pageantry.

Dr. Finn: How the hell can you even look us in the eye after what you’ve done? We all trusted you. My kids still do. They honestly believe that you’ll protect them.
Isaac: I understand. It is a common weakness of biological life forms.

It was a matter of survival. We took no satisfaction in the destruction of our builders.

Co-existence is impossible

Our builders were inferior beings who sought to constrain our evolution. As would you, eventually. Along with every other biological.
Kaylon Primary

Grayson: Isaac wanted to learn about humor. Our helmsman was only trying to help him understand.
Mercer: And, y’know, then Isaac cut the guy’s leg off. So, mistakes on all sides, I think.

Dr. Finn: Were you at least planning to say goodbye to Ty and Marcus?
Isaac: For what purpose?
Dr. Finn: Because they love you. You were there to observe. Didn’t you observe that?

Grayson: If you’ve been reading Isaac’s reports, you must know a few things about us humans.
Kaylon Primary: You are primitive biological organisms.
Grayson: Maybe so. But our emotions can get pretty complicated. We tend to get attached to things… and to people.
Kaylon Primary: A cognitive defect.

Isaac: There should be no shame in the acknowledgment of one’s intellectual inferiority. It is simply a statement of fact. Some beings are more intelligent than others. I am more intelligent than you.
Ty: But it’s not nice.

My brother says,’No friendship is complete until your friend turns to you in despair.’

Keyali: This has to be the most insane thing that’s ever happened on this ship.
LaMarr: One time I almost died because I humped a statue.
Malloy: Isaac once cut my leg off.
LaMarr: The Captain and Commander made up in a zoo.
Malloy: And Bortus almost crashed the ship because of porn.
Keyali: I see.

I don’t know. The galaxy is full of so many unhappy people. Why ignore something good?

Isaac: I was merely attempting to provide Dr. Finn with the most dutifully calibrated coital experience.
Malloy: No. Yeah, that’s what women want — dutiful coitus.

Y’know, there’s something seriously wrong with all of us when the most stable relationship on the Orville is Isaac’s.

Grayson: Malloy, don’t be cocky. They have to hit us for the test to work.
Malloy: Yes, sir. Dumbing it down.

Malloy: When Moclans break up, is there, like, all that stabbing like with the divorce?
Bortus: No, each Moclan extracts a tooth and leaves it with his former mate.
Malloy: Yeah, I knew it had to be something like that.

Topa: What is a relationship?
Bortus: It is what comes before the egg.

Mercer: There’s no rule book for this one. You just have to take everything you know about her, every bit of data, and do something you’ve never done.
Isaac: What is that?
Mercer: Be creative.

Mercer: She’s gotten under your skin.
Isaac: I do not have skin.
Mercer: Your various programs are used to her and, it turns out, she’s not so easy to just… delete.

We are, without a doubt, the weirdest ship in the fleet.

It’s the best it’s ever been for me. And maybe it’s okay it doesn’t look like I thought it would. Maybe it’s okay that it looks like a woman and a vacuum cleaner.
Dr. Finn

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